Recently a panel of the World Health Organization concluded that eating processed meats, such as bacon, increases the risk of developing colon cancer. This is the same organization that concluded in its 2009 study that indoor radon causes lung cancer and anyone who has sold (or tried to sell a home) on the Rocky coast of Maine that has a radon level above 4.0 p/CiL will tell you, there is a lot money to be made (or spent) in radon remediation. Which got me thinking. How long will it take for detecting and then remediating high concentrations of bacon in a home to become part of the home selling process? In my own home there is usually at least half a pound of bacon present at any time. By my estimation as least 50% of my immediate circle of friends have large concentrations of bacon in their homes, sometimes as much as a pound or more, which I am pretty sure is significantly more than 4 P/CiL. So if bacon is harmful (2 slices of bacon reportedly increases your risk of colon cancer by 18% and is in Group 1, the same category as cigarettes) it won't be long before an industry will grow up to protect us from this threat.
So that is where my new company, Maine Coast Bacon Remediation (still working on that) will come in. After we detect bacon in a home as part of the home inspection process ($200 for homes with single door refrigerators and $400 for double doors) we will develop a safe an effective way to remove the bacon from the home in an all natural way. Our dedicated staff are all well trained (maybe motivated is a better word) and relentless when it comes to discovering and disposing of bacon. Most of them would do it as volunteers if necessary. Bacon removal is not just a job for them it is best described as a mission.
Once a week, or more if you want to pay the extra charge, our staff will come to your home and remove any of that evil bacon from your home. In fact they will even remove sausage or other meat products at no extra charge. So don't let a dangerous and potentially fatal build up of bacon in your home or your future home threaten your health. Call now.
Tom Field
